How To Confront A Cheating
Spouse
 One of the most unfortunate aspects of
society today is how casually we take the idea of fidelity
in marriage. Not only do almost half of today's
marriages end in divorce, but we have almost glorified the
idea of cheating by making TV shows about catching your
cheating partner, having cheating spouses be a
main recurring plot line in movies and TV shows, and
making the idea of having sex with someone other than your
spouse be as casual as having a cup of coffee with
them. Unfortunately, the reality is that cheating in
relationships does happen and the unfaithful spouse needs
to be confronted, but before confronting your cheating
partner, you need to establish if doing so is even
justified or if you suspicions are simply down to
insecurity and if so, if it will it help matters or make
the situation worse.
Before you confront your partner, consider these key
points:
-
A change in your partners attention to their
appearance or a sudden interest in losing weight
and getting fit does not automatically mean they are having
an affair. Many of us make changes to our personal
behaviour for a variety of reasons and most of the time
there is no hidden agenda. Likewise, when a partner deletes
content from their cell phone or internet browser it may
not be a case that they have anything to hide. Many people
delete items such as SMS messages as a matter of routine as
soon as they are read just to avoid filling up their inbox!
When looking for signs of a cheating spouse it is important
to look for a number of key signs and be careful to look at
these signs in context before jumping to
conclusions.
-
Are you looking for something that’s really not
there? Are you genuinely concerned that your
partner may be cheating and do you have good reason to be
suspicious or are you just insecure in your relationship
for some other reason? Often when there is an underlying
feeling of insecurity for whatever reason, we can become
overly sensitive and read into situations which would
otherwise be considered normal behaviour. Before you
confront a partner with accusations of cheating be sure to
establish whether you have genuine cause for concern or
not. Accusing a partner of cheating when they are innocent
can be very damaging to even the best of relationships and
often the trust between partners can be irreparably
damaged.
-
If you do have cause for concern do you
have undeniable evidence with which to confront your
partner? If you confront your partner and accuse them of
cheating you can often make a situation worse by not having
enough evidence to back up your claims. If a cheating
spouse is alerted to your suspicions they may simply get
better at hiding their affair and be more careful of how
they carry it on in the future. Before you confront your
partner with allegations make sure to gather as much proof
as possible first so you leave no opportunity for them to
talk their way out of it. Remember, cheating partners make
exceptionally good liars and in your heightened state of
anxiety you will be willing to accept excuses you would
never normally entertain.
-
Don’t drive an otherwise faithful partner to have
an affair! Ridiculous as this may sound, there is
nothing more wearisome and tedious in a relationship than
having a partner that doesn’t trust you. Being under
permanent suspicion can place an enormous stress on a
relationship and can often cause even the most loyal
partner to be unfaithful as they come to realise they are
‘damned if they do, and damned if they don’t’. Learn to
trust your partner completely and don’t waste precious time
worrying unless you are sure you have very good
reason.
Unfortunately, while many people reading this will realise they
have nothing to worry about and will carry on having committed
and trusting relationships, many more will simply be more
convinced than ever that they have reason to look more closely
for evidence of an affair. [Continue to page
2]
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